Lace making

A couple of weeks ago I forced myself to do some knitting for the revival of the world’s stupidest range of handcrafted goods. The needles slotted comfortably in my hands, the wool wrapped naturally around my fingers, and the rhythmic movements, stab, wrap, pull, came back thoughtlessly. I’ve missed doing things with my hands. They’ve been idle since I moved to Singapore, a land where everything is imported and very little is made.

IMG_0834

I like to keep my hands busy, engaged in a repetitive activity like knitting, sewing, or embroidery. I like the mindlessness of it, how thoughts get sewn or woven into whatever is being made, and the gentle pleasure of seeing something become something else through tiny, simple moves. It has the same addictive quality as a game of Angry Birds. There’s always the next stitch, the next purl, the next pig to blow up.

IMG_0829

I’ve often thought of animation (my day job) as lace making. It’s dull, laborious, detailed, endlessly repetitive work. But there’s  a serenity to it, a sense of getting lost in something other than yourself, and the pleasure of watching your work grow with time and patience. Of course I haven’t animated anything in months, stuck as I am in the land of spreadsheets and lists, and my hands feel lifeless, heavy, useless, dead.

IMG_0832

Last night I was reminded of the first craftsman I met. It was somewhere in a small room above the Hermès flagship store (or Herpès Mothership as we called it between much sniggering). Our small group of new recruits had been walked around the handsome Faubourg St Honoré store, going up the central staircase past the exhibition space and the small charming museum full of the random objects that have served as inspiration for the brand’s most iconic designs. I’m not a fan of brands usually, those glittering, brash shops lined along Orchard road, but there, under the eaves, as we crowded near the maroquinier’s table, I was taught an understanding of luxury. There, in the gentle winter sun, in the scraps and smell of buttery leather, he told us how each piece, each bag was made by scratch by one craftsman, from start to finish. The cutting, the stitching, the gluing and lining, all done over weeks by one man who had learned his trade over many years. As he spoke he handled the skins and tools with a sense of ownership that had a quiet pride and dignity.

So last night I made a special effort to check out the Hermès Festival des Métiers. A friend had asked me what métier meant, and I struggled. It’s a job of course, but also a trade, a skill, a corps, a tool. I walked between the workbenches that had been set up in the atrium of my local glittering, brash mall and listened to the gentle, heavily accented voices as they explained how they make silk ties, print silk scarves, mount tiny diamonds onto tiny cufflinks or make, still, saddles. All by hand, all quietly and slowly, gently, lovingly.

IMG_0835

If you are in Hong Kong, Dubai, or Europe next year, go see it. It may make your hands itchy.


Wagyu beef, laced with blue cheese.
Brioche bun.
Pickled beetroots.
Caramellized onion.
Truffle oil waffle cut crisps.
This is the second best burger in Singapore, and the perfect antidote to unpleasant, wearying days. 
$26.50, Jones the Grocer

Wagyu beef, laced with blue cheese.

Brioche bun.

Pickled beetroots.

Caramellized onion.

Truffle oil waffle cut crisps.

This is the second best burger in Singapore, and the perfect antidote to unpleasant, wearying days. 

$26.50, Jones the Grocer


Majulah

Last Tuesday was Singapore’s National Day. Clearly, I have my finger on the pulse of this tiny nation.  Sadly I have been too busy looking at tiny coloured boxes on endless spreadsheets, muttering to myself, and generally wanting to stab my eyes out with a rusty spoon to write something about this colourful, intensely Singaporean event. Come! Read Singapore Noodle! Where all news are a week old and have the vague musty smell of despair. 

Where was I? Ah yes. National Day. This year we celebrated the anniversary of Singapore’s independence from Malaysia fourty six years ago, with much display of national pride and rehearsed rejoicing. And I mean this quite literally: for almost two months, we were treated to bi-weekly, full scale fireworks display at Marina Bay. I think it sort of ruins the surprise, but heaven forbid a technical error, like, say smokiness, or slightly asymmetrical explosions, should put a damper on the celebrations.

From what I gather, celebrating involves the following:

- wearing a lot of red (one of Singapore’s national colours, the other being white, which, apparently, signifies “pervading and everlasting purity and virtue”)

- waving a tiny flag and performing the “Marina wave” (like the Mexican wave, but more Singaporean)

- saying Majulah a lot. “Majulah” means “Onward”, and is a key feature of the Singapore National Anthem.

- mouthing along to this year’s National Day theme song (!!!), the catchy “In A Heartbeat”, with rousing lyrics like “In a heartbeat, time has passed us by / In a heartbeat, this will always be / Our people, our country / This is our family”.

Hold on. You must watch the Official Video to get the full effect:

Stirring, yes?

I’d left it all a bit to the last minute so my National Day plans involved none of the above, but instead some bad nachos, sarcastic company and a bottle of cheap cidre. Classy, and intensely patriotic.

Thus armed, we settled down to watch the televised National Day Parade, a sort of strange mixture of military strength display and multi-cultural social prowess. The highlights were:

- The directorial work worthy of the very best of Stalinist propaganda, circa 1941

- The section where a small child in a General’s uniform gave orders to the combined armed forces of Singapore (two tanks and a pipe band), which were then acted out on the floating platform where the event was taking place. This was accompanied by a video in the style of 24, bad CG footage of submarines, and a pretty expensive looking robot disarming a potential threat marked by a bit of paper that said “potential threat” or something similarly ridiculous.

- Counting the number of times the words “floating patform” were used. It made for a satisfying, if a bit depressing, drinking game.

- Suggesting that if ever Malaysia were to attack, then surely this would be the best time, as all armed forces were either A) gathered on said floating platform or B) waving tiny flags.

- Lee Kuan Yew, the Minister Mentor, being wheeled out for the occasion, looking like an already-mummified version of himself, complete with tiny flag for (feeble) waving purposes.

- A guy in a gleaming white suit and a ceremonial sword barking something unintelligible at the President.

- The wonderfully un-PC song and dance portion of the evening, featuring Malays dressed as Satay, Chinese as Dim Sum, Indians as giant twirling pratas, and Europeans as oreos and bottles of milk. Eh?

- A mind boggling 5 act reenactment of the history of Singapore (all 46 years of it), involving giant clams, papier mâché little boys and a bunch of business people doing a half arsed choreography with briefcases.

Just when I thought I couldn’t bear any more of this assault on my sanity, the fireworks went off, and, what do you know, they were really smoky.

I shall leave you with some images of the “Singapore National Day 2011 Mailbox Surprise” that was delivered to us a while back:

Singapore National Day Mailbox surprise

What’s the surprise, I hear you ask?

Singapore National Day Mailbox surprise

Some fabric softener, labelled in Vietnamese.

Majulah, Singapore.


“Occasionally the eyes are enjoying the walls covered by the scenery paintings and special decoration of the country. As far as the eyes can see, there are also several Korean guests. At a given time, the guests will also be entertained by Korea karaoke songs sang by the female staff. Absolutely everything from North korea is shown authentically here”.
Oh Jakarta, how you spoil us.

“Occasionally the eyes are enjoying the walls covered by the scenery paintings and special decoration of the country. As far as the eyes can see, there are also several Korean guests. At a given time, the guests will also be entertained by Korea karaoke songs sang by the female staff. Absolutely everything from North korea is shown authentically here”.

Oh Jakarta, how you spoil us.


Marketing with extra side dish of thinly veiled threats.

Marketing with extra side dish of thinly veiled threats.


The series of WTF continues, unabashed, at the National Youth Council bus stop.

The series of WTF continues, unabashed, at the National Youth Council bus stop.


Scenes from CGK

A woman strides past, tall and slender, her body neatly wrapped in long folds of soft cloth. Her face is solemn and focused, framed by a stark scarf. She takes long, deliberate steps.

Behind her a small desiccated figure struggles to keep up. A garland of embroidered leaves slashes the severity of her blacks. She flashes some ankle, a lot of ankle, as she hobbles past.

A man with a luxuriant white moustache pushes his trolley slowly. He is wearing a checked shirt, bright blue and red, he is smiling imperceptibly.

A headscarf is thrown over the top of a toilet cubicle, flash of hot pink against blue grey.

A small child stands protectively by an “enter here” sign. His face says he will kick you if you challenge him.

A dwarf in shorts waves his tickets above his head, calling some friends across the terminal. His head is bald and shining from the heat.

Then the call to prayer rises loudly and suddenly above the low murmur of the airport. It is clear and haunting, slow and pointed, of complete sadness and beauty.

A Japanese man looks up from his laptop, mouth open, and for a moment, I think, he forgets the grimness of Jakarta airport.


Meet Big Hug Makura. He is a giant blob of a portable body pillow. Doesn’t he look friendly? He has slits on the sides of his body for the pathetic to put their arms through, like a sort of oversized muff. Not entirely sure why he has a tiny pillow attached to the top of his head, but I dared not ask.

Meet Big Hug Makura. He is a giant blob of a portable body pillow. Doesn’t he look friendly? He has slits on the sides of his body for the pathetic to put their arms through, like a sort of oversized muff. Not entirely sure why he has a tiny pillow attached to the top of his head, but I dared not ask.


Also in Korea… Jackie Chan has his very own restaurant chain. It’s called, lyrically, “Jackie’s favourite noodle and dim sum”.

Also in Korea… Jackie Chan has his very own restaurant chain. It’s called, lyrically, “Jackie’s favourite noodle and dim sum”.